this is the last time and is a good bye message for him and this precious blog, well, I'm always not a good girlfriend..i always show my attitudes towards him, I just asked myself, why always so sad to love him so stupid to love him so angry asking myself why i wan to love him so deeply, I never unhappy with him b4 but I'm sad to be with him whenever we quarrel, and he didnt realise, his heart is made of metal? is he so hard hearted and heartless? why it became out to be like this, he will surely say, because I'm so fucked up to him. precious memories all gone. i lose my job i lose him am i going to lose myself again? telling myself, and asking myself, wat should i do next now? typing all this, will he look at it? i don think so, now he dont even CARE. I'm not related to him, so what if anything going to happen to me next? he said, "tts ur problem, go and tell ur mum." my heart breaks in pieces again and again. PRECIOUS MOMENTS, PRECIOUS OF HIM AND THE PRECIOUS MEMORIES SHATTERED INTO PIECES, sometimes when he's with me so peacefully without him touching his laptop and keep quiet being with me, i felt so happy till i wanted to cry sumtimes. its never like tt for a long time,i don give him peace, he said. LETTING A GUY LOVE YOU IS A BLESSING.. farewell..bye..
sumthing is wrong..
damn.. i felt sumthing amiss.. what am i gonna to do? he didnt answer my call hes not online..where is he! GOD PLS TELL ME WHERE IS HE..my eyelid kept jumping.. and i cant sleep..wats wrong, can anyone tell me.. im so worried..sigh! help! signing off 26.o3.2oo5 2.23am nicolee-
sighh..
hi guys who view my blog.. I'm Back Ler!! so long i never touch my blog ler..precious blog with precious memories, sighh too busy working and caring plus worry for my precious boyfriend i have! haiyo!!!!! so troublesome leh..i just register my GCE N level english and mathematics.. SO HAPPY!! always hope ar.. i can be wonderful and have him to be wonderful, but i not wonderful leh.. how to have him to be wonderful also leh.. so exhausted ah, i thought story already ended, in the end never la! so precious how to let it go jus like tt..precious boyfriend, precious blog that i wanted to continue my story and precious memories i still wanted to continue and always remember it.. sighh, quarreled again. I'm not happy to quarrel or argue.. is too kan chiong ler, then worry until don know sumtimes wat i say leh. he said "lets cool down first.." what he mean by this? sigh.. I'm so worried that he will leave me again, even though i everytime angrily say out "BREAK LAR" too kan chiong already lar.. he still cant get it sumtime i don mean to say it out.. sigh, in my mind i always thought of the wonderful boyfriend i have ar.. then later on, it burst.. he always hurt my heart and break it into pieces again and again, sumtimes ar.. my mouth offended him alot until he's so angry~! my attitude lor, hehe.. must understand also ma.. hope ar he look at it!.. don know wat is he doing now.. so worried about him, wat to do.. cant let it go ler..so difficult.. aiya! don tok so much already it seems like im so naggy! go sleep ler.. tata~
signing off 25.o3.2oo5 1.07a.m.
nicolee-
Everything means nothing if i ain't got u
Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
The promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby
why is he like this and why am i like this?
happy new year!! sigh, he knew Mei and broke up with me because he say im fucked up, yah, i knew that.. but hw can u tell her u love her and end up came back to me? im so confused..very! our relationship came out to become so bitter now! why! tell me!!!
The Story is end!
everyone got their right choice.. maybe im right..maybe im wrong..but i don wan to be regret again and again..make the same mistake again and again also..no one is in fault..but only thing i know is..I'm no longer in his heart anymore..THE END
New Year Photos!
Taken In the Room
Act Cute Time~!
In the Car..suddenly have double eyelid LOL!
Closer look
In the cab
Is it weird?
Buy Our New Year Clothes!
well, going to sun rise ler..and im playing gunbound while doing my blog.. at last my off day comes! go buy clothes!!!haha.. work until very pekchek and sian..why should i make myself so unhappy? so boring too! tiring! haha, so many complains..Dont work lar, so many complains for what! hehe jks.. while i will update photos later..new year i will update more photos..hehehe..bye!
slackingg day!!
my darling go work now..then i take leave stay at home nothing better to do sia..well, 2005 is coming!!! so boring..don know where to countdown~ hai..i miss school..and i miss working also..haha!well, i will update more photos
Lastest Darling Photos!
ah gong look...
Stupid look!
[ Friday, December 24, 2004 ] [ Merry Christmas! ]
here comes to my blog for updating sumthing! well, yesterday is my darling bday and now is his cousin, Lynn Chua's birthday..celebrating right now..and also..one year is over..and me and my darling now going to reach 1 yr already..times fly so fast..so many things happened..we quarreled so many times..But I so happy, because now he still at my side..doting me which i don know hw to appreciate.. don tok about this..leaving my sch and working now..so boring..feel like studying but my results not tt good..wat to do? i cant do anything..just to work and earn money..well, waiting for one more yr to pass now..and hope he will still beside me and love me more..
[Sunday, November 21, 2004, 10:02 p.m.] [ At last I update my blog!]
at last ar..i updated my blogg, hahaa..busyy working at this moment for MONEY!! lol! sians..everyday work cant get to update my blog.. :( summore so tired.. AIYA I DON KNOW HOW TO WEAR FOR TML LIAO..HAIS..gtg..byebye
[Thursday, November 11, 2004, 01:47 a.m.]
Every night I have a sleepless night, and right now I keep thinking of him, is hard to forget a guy just like this. Unless you don love him anymore, I think he can make it by forgetting me. Forget everything and even him is really very hard and painful, my heart ached so? Who will know everything, everytime all I want is one last chance, but I didn't be a good girlfriend. What kind of girl am I? Every guys wanted to break up, they will always be heartless just like every girls do. But I can't, even everytime I ask for break up, I always angry and asking myself why must be like this? why this relationship became like this? my heart ached and felt that something is done but cannot be undone anymore. Soon, I think I going break down soon. He need is peace, what about me? I need a guy knows how to care for me, and to know who am I, who he actually want to be with. Begging is useless, really. I hated every guys especially him, I'm a bad girlfriend and he should know. But why he still wan to be with me? What I'm thinking now, is full of those happy memories and him. I felt very painful and hurt in my heart and he will never know. He always thought I'm in fault. I can't be forgive. But still, do he really love me? I really don't know. My heart broke into many pieces.
[Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 02:30 a.m.] [ Why Am I So Stupid? ]
I should know he won't take any responsibility already in the first place I still give him a chance. No guy can make a proper promise to their loves one. Can they really pass through their painful problems, or tolerate a girl or even other things? I don't think so. I even warned him, after you be with me, you will know the real me. But he did not listen, he said is ok I will change and tolerate or what ever shit? I think he didn't made it. I used to trust you with all my heart. I always think you won't hurt me, you won't do any silly things and treat me like this. But you did it. Even now, I tell you how much I missed you and wanted to see you right now. I think is impossible, I'm in fault, I'm childish, I really hate myself. Got one good guy appear in front of me, I did not want to appreciate. Yet I hurt you and myself, now is not the time to regret is the time to be my ownself back again. He makes me felt no interest in any guys. Is hard to become the old me again. But this is the way I have to accept it. I have no choice for being all this right now. I'm suffering from mental illness now. Just like a crazy girl who always disturb him every moment. I ALWAYS IN FAULT, THIS IS THE WAY I CHOOSED AND NO TURNING BACK.
[Sunday, November 7, 2004, 04:55 a.m.] [ Why Am I Still Loving Him?]
crying sad and feel like dying so? everything still the same..the one i love wont come back anymore..so? he's the one who i love the most..i always recall those days we are together and how we know each other..he always say go find other guys other guys, but i donwan.. and i wont..i don know wat to say.. the most important thing is i will always wait..no matter wat..
[Friday, November 5, 2004,08:00 p.m.] [ slackingg whilee waiting for bf to come back ]
just finish my blog..heng got nila help me arbo i don know wat will happen next to my blog..haha..i hope it's nice..now gonna to bath and go my bf house wait for him to come back then see him play mahjong!! -O-"
Life is like this..
I love you not who you are, but because who I am when I'm with you.If one day, you don love me anymore. I will be sad. But I will love you, because you had make me love you deeply. So I can't sacrifice to lose you deeply, please don't treat me like this. You will hurt me more when you are like this.
[how to describe today?] [Friday, October 29, 2004, 12:05 a.m.]
today go and sign up my course..manicure and pedicure..yeah..then next sunday can start the course already..happy! hehe.. things happen again and again..why? i don know alot of why in my mind..things getting worst and worst to someone i love..or im the one who getting worst and more worst than him? i think is me..everything became the same again! hais..
[Monday, October 25, 2004, 05:27 p.m.] [slacking day]
boring siak..my bf nv off today..suppose to off today de..but he k kiang..go off yesterday..waiting for him to come back..so boring..jus now go help my mum..tiring also..haiss..life sucks..so boring
[Sunday, October 24, 2004, 05:24 p.m.] [ Happy Day ]
hehe..my auntie they all went back ler..hais..but my bf OFF! haha! then later going to find my cousin, AI LEE JIE, she going to married soon..! most of my cousins married ler..so happy..lols..got hong bao to take next yr for the new yr time..hehe..say until here ba..WILL BE UPDATED SOON
[Saturday, October 23, 2004, 04:58 p.m.] [ Slacking DAY!]
yesterday my little cousin, shawn, come to singapore..haha cool handsome guy! hms.. after that we go serangoon garden eat..with my bf also..hms..after that we go home lor.. now..at my own house thinking whether my bf willing to come and find me? lol..i think will..he wan to be loving husband ma..haha
[Thursday, October 21, 2004,06:47 p.m. ] [ The Girl Blogged At Interview]
today..i go interview for giordano..omg..IM A IDIOT..i tok so kan chiong..summore..i cant work as manicurist ler..so sad..all so far away..HOW TO HAVE STABLE JOB LIKE TT!!!..btw i already erase sum date of blogs..sumone will be very happy..lets see who is it..of course HIM,RICHIE WONG!
[ Monday, October 11, 2004, 10:34 p.m.] [ The Girl Blogged At Wild Wild Wet ]
today morning go wild wild wet with stef,peixuan,adeline and me lor..alot of PRI 6 KIDS at there..because they just finished their PSLE..irritating like hell..there very scary..but i keep thinking..wat time should i go until? will my bf worry? because my hp is inside the locker..hw would i know that my bf keep calling or? after wild wild wet..before we went for a bath..haiz..not again..we quarreled..he cant listen to my explaination..i also worry about him..but did he know.. i don think so..i keep asking and asking where is he..i wan to go and find him..because he OFF but i nv acc him..maybe to him, Im bad..Im not a good gf..but i tot of working tml already..when will i have my time to go out with friends? no more..even im on my off day..for sure im with him..but just one time..when he is on his off..i go out with my friends..he's not happy..maybe i nv thought of his feeling.. but the way im thinking is just like this..so after wild wild wet..we went for dinner..but my dinner sucks..im hungry for whole day..but even how much i eat for that dinner is not even full for my stomach..haiz..after that we take a cab to northpoint..i'm looking for my bf..im worried where is he..all this..then i went back to his house..suppose he's at home..but when i reached his house..too late already..*sighz*
[Friday, October 8, 2004,09:03 p.m. ] [ The Girl Blogged At N Level Finished!]
yeah at last, my N LEVEL finish le~ haha! HAPPY!! let own bf loved is happiness, but love ur own bf is painful, because u don know whether ur own bf love u anot..i wan to find a job! just go pedicure sia..from 5 plus until 8 plus at the shop..haha! haiz..say until here ba..!
Photos taken on my birthday!
[Saturday, October 2, 2004, 11.15p.m] [ My Happiest Day, My Birthday! ]
haha today,Siang Ling,PeiXuan,Brandon and Me went to KTV,sang alot of songs..like siao char bor like tt sia..then brandon sing like a girl like tat,haha and take many FREAK PHOTOS for my birthday..plus they buy lot of things sia..especially siang ling buy two bags at one time! haha no lar, one of the bag is for her belated birthday present..after that my boyfriend and his friend, rui tian, came to find us..then we went to long john makan..after tat they went home lor,but not long ago me and my boyfriend went home also..suppose to go chiong one..but don wan lar..bf not happy..don go better avoid quarrels! haha~ nothing to say ler lor..say until here ba~!N level coming..I better STUDY!!! O_O"
[Friday, October 1, 2004, 12:11 p.m.] [ Boring Day]
yesterday once more nice..alright lar..acceptable.that girl sing this song at UNSUNG HEROS really make me puke. and is puke like hell,say until as if so many guys find her take her photos sia..haha,my bday tml sia..no one celebrate with me also hais *sad*,sians.. 3days to my N Level..just ate my chao kuay tiAO..haha, how to study sia..so confused..keep thinking i can ask who come out to study also..stress sia..later maybe go find my bf or wat lor..see first. haiz..sometimes is not i don wan to go and find him, is i go there i got nothing to do..
My Boyfriend And Me~
My Boyfriend And Me~
My Boyfriend And Me~
My Boyfriend And Me~
Is my story going to end up to be like this?
things is so different now..why? my attitude and his attitude towards each other is just like an enemy like that..sigh, always tell myself remember hor! better change ur attitude. but is so hard for me.. why huh?
o8.o8.2oo4
he and his cousin fought when i found out he brought back a china girl, and is his own brother told me that, i cant expect him will do this kind of things to me, at that time i hate him alot. don wan to tell me things honestly and i trust him so much! and yet who is the one who is sorry now. tell me with all his empty promises make me felt so heart broken. brought her back and bring me go back again? What is this! what am i really to him.. SObz........!!!!!!!!!
24.o7.2oo4 ( what is he doing )
we quarreled again, sigh..he came back the next morning and kept saying those unhappy moments which makes me don know wat to do! he shouted at me and said he had enough. All i know is cry and don know wat to do next, he told me he went to East Coast with one group of friend so I believed. But yet, He wanted to break up.. We quarreled and broke up in a big mess, at night he called and asking me not to call him anymore and he's not going back to his house, beside cry and sad i cant do anything, make me felt that he don love me anymore.. wat should i do..
waiting for him o7.o6.2oo4
times fly so fast.. i waited for him to come back until 2.05a.m. he got exhibtion lor.. then go and help his company and boss treated them for supper..sigh, i think too much liao lar! hehe
countdown 2004
2004 coming!!! this day we are so loving, must understand him more ar. He brought me to meet his dad and his sisters..LOvely sisters he have! Is this fate? we walked at Orchard and wait for the countdown again and after that we make our way to find his dad's car and his dad drive us to A & Z eat nasi lemak, after eating.. his dad drive us back home lor.. and finally ar my family accept him, I tell myself.. don make my family disappointed.. prove it! heheZ!
Merry Christmas!
merry christmas guys.. he and me went to suntec have our dinner ( Pizza Hut ) after that we went to Orchard and walk walk.. then very boring, we took cab to Boatquay and see..end up we bought the sprays then wanna to go for countdown already.. suddenly, im so naughty that i took out the spray and spray at him and he took out too! spray until so happy, suddenly from no where we are having spraying fun he hugged me and say he love me.. I'm shocked.. I pushed him away and walked to other place chatting to know more about each other..when say into sumthing that we shouldnt know, we kept quiet for a second.. and i suggested to go home but he suggest to watch movies but nah.. end up we didnt watch and went to his house ton lor..and after that he should know sumthing..
Few days later(23.12.2003)
story continue, morning i went my friend's ROM and after that, he reminded me to wake him up at 1pm..But i didnt care..(haha)but after that my hand so itchy went to call him and say "zhu, wake up la!" haha enjoying disturbing him..after that when i reached home.. Richie asked me to buy rice and go to his house.. so curious, see where did he stay.. and i didnt bought him any food also..so i just went up and take a look and i saw him sitting with his brother ( Junhao ) then i so paiseh, i followed wherever he go. then suddenly, he say lets go to Orchard.. and at that time i didnt know today is his birthday. So we took cab to Orchard, we go walk walk after that have our dinner and go back to Funland.
the first time i met him (03.12.2003)
i knew him few days ago, and the first time i saw him, i cant forget how the way we looked at each other. and his nick was [ H| Ga| ] in the counterstrike game we played in funland. He don know me well also and yet he brought me to SAKAE SUSHI to eat sushi, and is the place we go and have our lunch the first time, and i didnt knew that he was EX AI ( my secondary school ), his face may look fierce but actually he was funny and nice guy afterall. After eating sushi, we went back to funland and play CS again, at that time, i got some werid feelings towards him.. don know why also. Is time for me to go home, I said to him " ehs i need to go home liao, bye." he asked me to leave my hp no. down andi didnt noticed that he stored his number into his hp also! I'm shocked and asked him "ehs give me ur num for wat!" And yet he act so hack care that I also ignore him.. and I was so rebellious..and from that day onwards we knew each other..
